There Are No Joneses.


Back in March when I was interviewing potential volunteers for the 2016 Tiny House Conference, I asked a married couple why they were interested in downsizing into a tiny house, and why they wanted to help run our event.

“We used to be so concerned with keeping up with the Joneses, until we realized one day that our lifestyle had gotten out of hand,” they said. “Turns out there aren’t any Joneses.”

We hear the phrase “keeping up with the Joneses” so much in society that it’s completely lost its meaning. I find that I pick up on it more often now that I’m involved in the tiny house movement, and it’s almost jarring to hear how flippantly people use it in conversation. Even more often, I hear something and I can tell that this insidious, invisible “Jones” character is behind it:

“We bought a house in a nice neighborhood in the suburbs, because that’s what adults are supposed to do.”

“Real men drive pickup trucks.”

“Oof, you still only have an iPhone 4? You should upgrade. Like, yesterday.”

“Buy one of our luxury Swiss timepieces for only $199 per month!”

The idea of constantly upgrading our clothing, our houses, our cars, our adornments, and our job titles reminds me of a race. There’s an urgency to spend every shred of time and money to strive for the next shiny toy, the next symbol of adulthood, the next proof to the world that you’re buying the things you should because you have your life together. You’re racing against everyone else who is trying to do the same thing. No one seems to ask why you’re doing it.

Then, when you approach the finish line, after leaving the losers in the dust behind you, the anonymous Mr. Jones will finally appear in his impeccably tailored suit, give a slow clap and say, “Well done. You’ve beaten me. Have some cake.”

But that’s not what’s actually beyond the finish line.


There is no finish line. There are no Joneses.

(The cake is a lie.)

Your time is your most precious and limited resource. Are you using it to spend time with loved ones? Help improve people’s lives? Create new things? Discover new places? Learn new skills?

Or are you endlessly consuming stuff you don’t need to impress people whose opinions don’t matter?

It’s perfectly fine to want and enjoy material items. We’re human – we use things in order to carry out our work and our daily routines comfortably. Sometimes we even get nice things for ourselves or from people we care about. No one is saying you should shed all material possessions to become a nudist and live in the woods (although if that’s your thing, that’s cool too).

But if you look up and realize you’re in the middle of the race, it’s not your fault. Businesses and marketers have spent billions of dollars to convince you and everyone around you that you’re right where you should be. If you’ve started noticing that you’re doing something ridiculous just because everyone else is too, it’s time to drop out of the race and start living your life. Don’t wait until you get to the end to realize that things could have been different.

Your Turn!

  • What have you done to step out of the race?
  1. Yep building my Tiny was to get out of the “game” so I could live my life. Now only work 3 days a week. Once the Tiny is finished will be hiking and enjoying the great outdoors on my days off. Lovin life!

  2. Such a well written piece. What I got out of it is that there is so much more to life than the latest and greatest. I listen to the Dave Ramsey show and get inspired by people who come on and do their Debt Free Screams. The main tool is living on a budget and defining a new normal. The new normal has no Joneses, no keeping up with. Instead putting the focus on family and home and contributing to community, instead of flashing for the neighborhood.

  3. I’m not in a race for “things; my life has been one long grind just to get the basics of life to keep the body together: glasses so I can see to work, gas for my clunker car, the $1000 a month for the crappy barely liveable apt built in 1974 and barely kept up (greedy absent corporate landlords)…it’s disheartening to see so many people so well off that they have to learn how not to have excess stuff, when some of us scramble our entire lives just to get the basics.
    Sorry–had to vent .

    • I can understand what you are saying, and I know how disheartening it can be. And yes vent. I am a strong believer that being honest about what you are feeling is very important. And no this is not about getting a tiny house unless having your own home is a goal. I also believe in setting goals and making plans, and focusing on what you want, not on what you don’t want. At no cost to you for encouragement go to Dave (Financial Peace University), if you have the internet, and if not go to your local library and find the web site and click to find a radio station in your area that carries the show. If you have the internet look through the web site and listen to the show, look at information about a budget. This will surprise you but when you tell your money where to go instead of wondering where it went you find you have more money!! Another area of encouragement which you can get free from your library is 48 Days to the Work I Love – Dan Miller. Again if you have access to the internet you can sign up to get emails for encouragement. With encouragement comes ideas, with ideas comes dreams, and out of those dreams comes goals out of the goals you can set plans . With that comes a change usually an upward one.

  4. Great read! My husband and I downsized at the first of the year into a fifth wheel RV. We realized we didn’t need, use or want half of the stuff we had,It was very liberating and cleansing to go through and rid ourselves of STUFF! We realize that our time together and the time with our family is all we want and need!

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