Tiny House, Tiny Living, The Tiny Life.

Posts Tagged gratitude

What I Know & What I Hope

I’m writing from Portland today, still here after an amazing time at the Tiny House Conference that happened about a week ago.  On Saturday I went to brunch with Laura LaVoie and Matt, where we were chatting about the amazing opportunities we experienced because of our choice to live tiny.

It struck me how lucky we were, to be sitting around a table on an extended vacation sharing a meal with friends.  I all a sudden said “what a gift” and began to share this gratitude with Matt and Laura, we all took a beat to reflect on this gift we have been afforded.

So today I wanted to share what I know about you and what I hope for you.

I Know…

The Tiny Life is a life that anyone can achieve with enough perseverance.

I know YOU can persevere through the doubt, the fear, the questions, and the hard days.

I know the life you can achieve will inspire you, drive you, and open doors.

I know you will value relationships over money, but you’ll have both in abundance.

I know you’ll be empowered when you realize (or realized) the truth: this is MY life.

I Hope…

I hope all you reading this have that moment when you say “I’m going for it”.

I hope that you appreciate what you have right now and fight hard for what you want in the future.

I hope you build a life that inspires you and others; One that others only dream of.

I hope you get to sit around a table with friends and say “what a gift”.

 

 

Living In The Moment

This past weekend I had the fortune of watching my sister get married it was an amazing weekend, but the week leading up to it started off pretty tough.

I had been working for weeks to get ready for the Tiny House Conference because once I saw my sister walk down that aisle, I was off to Portland.  It meant that I had to have almost everything in order before then.  I was feeling good, a little stressed, but good.  I had nailed my to do list and was even doing some bonus things when I walked to my car…

IMG_3379The window had been smashed in and quite a few things had been stolen.  I had hidden my backpack under the seat, but apparently the thief still spotted it.  In that bag was $800 of really important things for the conference, my check book, but thank goodness, not my laptop.

I was angry.  I was upset.  I didn’t have time to deal with this right now.  What I had been working so hard for during the past year felt threatened.  Not that the Conference was in jeopardy, but the bag stolen symbolized one thing to me: my tools to write, to podcast, to build the movement.  I felt like these tools and what I do were cheapened; what cost me $800 of hard earned dollars to do what I loved, was being hocked at a near by thrift store for a few bucks.

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This was compounded by the fact that since I was leaving so soon, I might not be able to get the things I needed before I left and once I left, I didn’t know exactly where to have things shipped.  Needless to say, emotionally I was in a bad place.  A darker place than I’ve been in for a long time.

Anger-Quotes-14This angered me even more, because in the end it wasn’t just money, it wasn’t just the tools for what I love doing, it was the worry, the fear, that I would carry that anger into the weekend where I would not be able to fully appreciate and be fully present in the biggest day in the life of someone who I care about.  I felt like that was what was robbed from me.

 

 

It was then and there that I resolved myself to not let that person who smashed that window take this amazing moment in time from me: seeing my little sister walk down the aisle.

I had no idea how I was going to do it, but I knew I had to figure it out.

I took some time, of which I really didn’t have to take, to think about this.  How do I deal with this anger?  How do I deal with this fear?  How do I deal with having to spend $800 plus few hundred for the car to be fixed?

I remembered a person from my past who once shared the notion of Paradoxical Gratitude, the idea that when something bad happens to you, you look at the positives of what surrounds it.  An example would be: if a loved one dies, you focus on the fact that you have living friends and family that are there to support you in your time of need.

I liked the premise of this and it stuck with me over the years, a tool in my tool box to help me be grateful for what I did have.  It was time to use that tool.

I thought to myself:

  • How amazing it was that I had built a life for myself that I had the money to weather this storm.
  • How I patted myself on the back for my ability to roll with the punches and get things done.
  • How thankful I was that my mother had time to drive down to the car dealership and we then spent the afternoon together.
  • How cool Macy Miller was about me saying I needed to take a few weeks off from the podcast when I shared the files of 5 podcasts and all my podcasting gear had been stolen.
  • How fortunate I was in life, how I had a house, a job, a car, friends and family.

These were the thing I repeated to myself over the following days.  I had to make a concerted effort to push myself out of that darkness and into a place where I focused on gratitude.  It was hard.  It is easy to fall into a place of anger when we feel like we have been wronged, but I knew the stakes were too high.

Then came the day of the wedding.

My sister and I are pretty different people:  She loves clothes and shopping, I buy multiples of the same shirt and hate every minute of it.  I went to a liberal arts school that shunned greek life and had no real sport teams; she went to a bigger school and joined a sorority where she went to all the games with her sorority “sisters”.  Despite all our differences, we get along well and I’m proud to call her my sister.  She would correct me and say “your favorite sister” a running joke because I only have one.  So I was very excited for her because I knew how important this day was for her and thus, it was important to me.

I was standing outside, looking down at grounds where the wedding would happen and was mindfully saying what I was grateful for to myself.  The wedding was about to start and then something clicked in me.  The focus on gratitude had paid off.  I was standing with my brothers, my father, the groom and the weather couldn’t have been more perfect; it was a great day!

The wedding kicked off and I saw my little sister, my favorite sister, get married.  She struggled to hold back the tears as she said “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward”  and I wasn’t much better.

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My parents, my sister and her now husband.

The night went quickly after that, sitting for dinner, being rushed back out for more photos, going back in for the first dance, and then getting to see so many family and friends.  My face hurt from smiling when my head hit the pillow at 3am.  A good day…. no, a great day.

So I wanted to share this story to encourage you to live in the moment, to foster gratitude in your life, to making conscious decisions in your life to deal with the anger, the fear, the doubt, the negativity and go to that place of happiness.

– Ryan

 

Gratitude In The New Year

With New Years right around the corner, many folks are thinking about what will come in 2014.  Many people will also be making new years resolutions.  I’d like to propose something a little bit different this year.  Instead of looking forward to what will be, lets look back and what has been; more specifically, lets practice gratitude for all the good things that we enjoyed in 2013.

This looking back and practicing gratitude has been show to be more productive.  It is something that I have learned this year to be a huge boost to my happiness, there are moments where I am struck by how lucky I have been and what a great life I have been fortunate enough to live.  I have learned to appreciate the things we often take for granted.

This practice of expressing gratitude has been shown in studies to actually boost happiness.

2013 was an amazing year, lets be thankful for it.

The Science Of Happiness

Last week I wrote about how there were several common traits, one of which was being grateful.  Then I found this video about the science of happiness and it affirmed something for me.  Tiny House folks have always seemed to be much happier and from my post they also seemed very grateful; turns out there might be a correlation.

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