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Posts Tagged Goals

5 Reasons Most People Never Discover Their Purpose

A recent article came out from Inc. about why most people don’t discover their purpose in life and it inspired me to write this.

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People don’t define what is right for themselves.

I hear it too often, “I did it because I was supposed to”.  That common phrase might be one of the most dangerous phrases today in modern America.  If you are here reading this, there’s a good chance that you know this all too well.  When we grow up we often look to those around us who we trust to help us make decisions and we are smart to do so.  However, there comes a time when we must really start to rely on ourselves more and through introspection, learn what is right for us.  We can still seek the council of others, but as we grow, we must understand when to ask for help and more importantly who to ask.

Not taking the time for introspection and goal setting.

How crazy is it that we spend all this time doing things that may or may not make us happy, but we can’t take an hour to just think about what we are doing with our life.  Introspection is one of the strongest tools I’ve found to help me navigate life.  It brings clarity, it bring confidence, it spurs new ideas and it speaks to the soul.

Using introspection allows you do realize your dreams, but also grapple with your fears; both in productive ways.  Most people never take the time to do this, they do what they do because they are “supposed” to, but don’t take the time really think about things.

Most people are scared of their darkside

Most tiny housers are great people, but everyone has a darkside.  We aren’t talking about a darkside a la sociopath or the like; We are talking about your regrets, insecurities and selfish drives.  Everyone has them and it isn’t until we wrestle with them that we can make any real progress.  It has been my experience that the most amount of growth and understanding occurs in this space; where you face these dark parts of yourself and lean into them.  In some cases I have learned from them, other times I have come to accept them, or in some cases I have come to embrace them.  Whatever it is you have been intentional with them.

Too busy worrying about everyone else.

There are those who’s opinions you deem important, but for most people, we are too concerned with everyone’s opinion of us.  It’s only natural, but spending too much time worrying what others think about us is dangerous.

It is funny in a way, But I have found that those who are most likely judge you or chastise you are often the ones that are the most uncomfortable with themselves, haven’t found themselves, do what they are “supposed to do”, and haven’t decided things for themselves; why would you care about a person’s opinion that is so ill conceived and fraught with insecurities?

Seek the advice of those important to you, then go forth, ignore the rest.

People don’t “buck up” and go for it.

There has been one thing that I’ve found when it comes to people who are doing what they love, are well balanced, living an adventure.  They don’t let excuses get in the way and they act today.  I did this with my tiny house, I put it off, but in the end when I did it, I realized I, myself, was literally the only thing holding me back.

What is more tragic than a life where you don’t get to live your dream?  Having the chance to do something amazing and not jumping at the opportunity.
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Tiny House Burn Out

I have noticed over the past month or so I have been getting a little burned out with working on my tiny house.  I think it really has been a combination of my time at work skyrocketing, a series of big set backs and less than favorable weather.  Additionally I had been asked to bring my house to a particular event, which put a deadline on things for me, so it became more of a job, not something that I was enjoying.

322470I have had some big set backs.  The biggest being my electrician was injured pretty seriously on another worksite the day before he was going to do my house.  He will be fine, thank goodness, but it meant I had to restart the process of getting quotes and scheduling work, which set me back about 3 weeks.

Enjoyment of the building process was one of the things that I wanted to make sure was part of building my house.  I wanted to enjoy the journey, to enjoy the realization of my dream, I wanted to take my time and have great posts for you all.  So this week I made the decision to decline bringing my house to that event, which on one had I was disappointed about, on the other, and more importantly, I felt like I could now enjoy the process of building again.  I felt a sense of relief when I made the decision and I think it was the right one to make.

So the moral of the story here is when you build your tiny house, or pursue any of your goals in life, make sure that you enjoy the journey, because it is often better than the destination.  In the near future I will be doing some more house update posts, but here is a photo I took this past weekend.

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Things To Give Up To Be Happy

I came across a great post today about things you should give up to be happy.  Not only was it a great list, but it was an interesting assertion, we typically try to gain things to be happy.  It could be buying a new TV, taking a trip to some white sand beach, or any number of things that we add to bolster happiness.  Studies have shown that buying things actually increases unhappiness for the most part (beyond necessities like food, medicine, and a few modest indulgences). Studies have also shown that people most happy when they make around $75,000 a year, more so than those who make a million or multimillion dollar pay checks.

One of the things to give up in this article is something that I have talked about on here is ditching excuses.  They can so easily get in the way of so many good things.  Check out my post on setting goals and avoiding the excuse trap:  here

Here is an excerpt by Dana

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?


2. Give up your need for control. 
Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

 

Get the full list at purposefairy.com by clicking here

Motivation

Seeing Is Believing

So I was sitting at work today when a co-worker of mine came in to chat about gardening.  It was at that point, I told her about my idea about raised bed gardens.  The raised beds would be about 4 feet tall, just the right height to work the garden, but not have to bend.  If you have ever spent an hour weeding, either bending over or kneeling, it can be uncomfortable if not painful.  I explained how at 4 feet tall and 2 feet wide, you can be situated perfectly in terms of ergonomics.  Raised bed allow you to have perfect soil for what you are growing and help reduce weeds in the process.  Overall you have perfect soil, reduce strain and have a very neat looking garden. She left my office and I began to think how I really wish I could implement this idea today.  But alas I am not quite settled where I am living. I opened up Sketchup and started drawing out what I would like this garden to look like.  I then realized what I was doing….I was using this tool to help me visualize the future, to help cement this goal, to keep me motivated.

Then idea crossed my mind, what are the other way I make sure I stay motivated on an idea while I get to where I need to be to implement it?

Now these tools will not work for everyone and I am a particularly computer oriented, also very visual, so I find these methods work for me.

My Blog

What some of you may not realize is, I don’t yet live in a Tiny House.  The plans are in the works, designs being drawn, research on building codes in my area and seeking land, but no house of yet.  By having a blog I am able to share my passion and connect with others that love the idea or live the dream.  It is an intensely empowering tool.  Now some of you are thinking, I don’t want to start a blog or I don’t know how.  Of course there are really easy and free services such as wordpress.com or blogger.com that will get you up and running in under 10 minutes.  But it doesn’t stop there.  Journaling, plain old pen and paper, is the old school version to achieve this.  The advantage of a blog over this method is that when you have an audience, you are accountable to them in a way.  Some one, or in my case several thousand, will notice when you shirk on posting.  Even if you don’t want to go the full blog route, consider writing a guest post for a blog, I am always happy to review and possibly post your piece.

Google Sketchup

This is a program made by google that is completely free (they do a pay for pro version) that allows you to quickly design things and create them in a 3D environment.  It wasn’t until today that I realized that I have this established behavior.  When I have something in mind that I have aspirations for or dream about, I have time and time again opened up google sketchup to draw it.  What does this do?  It creates a visual representation of my dream.  It takes it from my mind into the real world, one step closer to being a reality for me.  I did this with this garden idea, see below, and I have done it countless times with ideas for Tiny Houses.

43Things.com

This is a really interesting website, it basically makes a lists of your goals, connects you with those who have the same goals and empowers you to achieve them.   What takes this to the next level is when someone achieves a goal, it has them describe how they went about getting there.  People can discuss and share ideas about how to tackle roadblocks.Stop Making Excuses
A while ago I was out to dinner with several of my friends, the conversation turned to travel and a friend and I were asked how many places we have been.  I responded 17 countries all before I was 23.  They were floored.  “How did you get to do that!?”  I am not independently wealthy, I don’t have a trust fund and my parents didn’t pay for it, so how did I do it?  I posed the question to them, why didn’t you travel that much?  They instantly said “no time”, “no money”, etc.  My other friend who had been to just as many places as I, chimed in and said “you’re making excuses”.  It then dawned on me, how many times do we make excuses, stupid excuses, defeatist excuses.  Now there is reality and responsibility, but at what point does that end and the excuses begin?  For most, they would agree it would be unreasonable to think that a high schooler could afford a trip to Europe, but I did.   I did, for a whole month, I went to 8 countries and had a blast doing it.  So it brings me back to the point, stop making excuses and do it, because too often the only thing standing in our way, is ourselves.

One particular method I use for this is to take a goal that seems too out of reach.  Write down your goals, then next to them write the very very first step you would have to do to achieve that goal.  To get a better idea, take this example.  Lets say you want to build a Tiny House, you might start by seeking out a place to purchase a trailer.  You might open up excel and make a rough budget, then go price the materials at a hardware store.  You might email someone who lives in a Tiny House and ask them for advice on how to start.  See how these are really simple things.  See how these these things take 5 minutes, 30 minutes.  See how you can do any of these things right now!

Vision Board

This isn’t my favorite idea, but it works for many folks, so it is at least noteworthy.  A vision board is basically a board where you glue photos of what you want to be.  If you want to be happy, paste photos that conjure thoughts of happiness.  If you want to focus more on family, put your favorite photos of your kids, your significant other etc.  Take this  board and place it in a prominent place that you can view it several times a day.  Perhaps place it in a place that you look at it, but others can see it to.  They will ask about it and by sharing your goals, you reinforce it, but then you are almost held accountable to them when they ask about it later.

So here is my garden idea

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